The Year of Realizing Stuff
Kylie Jenner received a lot of criticism for declaring 2016 the “year of realizing things.” And, while probably not the most eloquent description, she wasn’t wrong. In retrospect I spent a lot of 2016 realizing some stuff. While this isn’t quite a end of year highlight reel here are a few of the big stuff I realized:
Show up. Show up for the people and things that matter. There’s a lot on my plate right now but I continue to make a concerted effort to show up when people ask me. I show up for things, I’m present when I do. Multitasking has become a necessary evil for me but I started making every effort possible to be present and connect with my people.
Falling leads to flying, a hard lesson for a perfectionist. It’s always been easy for me to accept a setback, label it not a thing for me, and walk away. This year has forced me to rethink that attitude. Falling is inevitable. Progress isn’t steadily linear, there are bumps in the road, some days are better than others, I have to keep going. When things get wobbly I need to fix my gaze forward, pull into my core, and breathe.
It’s ok to go at my own pace in running. A certain time or physical appearance doesn’t make me a runner. I am what I choose to be.
It’s ok to go at my own pace in life. I’m still figuring things out. A lot of my friends have kind of ‘landed’, if you will. Careers, families, houses are a thing. I’m, well, I'm not there. I could have been but I’m not. Would I be happier? Maybe. But I know I’m proud of what I’m doing now and that’s all that matters.
I can forge my (our) own path. In 2013 I took a hard left in my career and that lead to some wandering. Figuring out what I want to do, this year the idea dawned on me that creating something on my own is an option. In 2016 Mind + Matter was born, in a large part thanks to the work we did here.
Being “busy” is BS.
I need to watch my language. How I speak to and about myself matters. As much as I project out positivity and growth, I’m still struggling. I try to be honest with myself and with you about everything but I can do better, especially in how I speak to myself. It’s easy for me to dwell in the darker side of things. To perceive failures and shortcomings. I’m good at reframing things for others, I need to start doing that for myself.
I can teach yoga. In fact, I do, and I’m going to spend part of 2017 helping other people learn how to teach yoga.
It was time to retire my mat. That little mat took me through 302 classes, sculpt training, 200 hour Teacher Training. When I selected my little pink mat I picked my home for the year. It was bright, very bright, begging to be noticed. Screaming ‘HEY, IT’S ME! I’M HERE.’ Which is what I did in 2016, I declared that I was here, I claimed my spot. We’ve been through quite a bit together, and I’m not sure if I was harder on my mat or on myself. At the end of this year I decided that it would become my outdoor mat and I needed a new regular practice mat. This time I went with the thicker mat in dark green. It’s cushiony and cozy.
If my pink mat said ‘notice me’ this one says ‘I’m settling in, let’s get comfy’ which feels right. 2016 was the year of realizing stuff, realizing what I want my life to be about, proclaiming it loudly. 2017 is about settling in, nurturing the growth, rooting into it. It’s going to be a good one. I can feel it.
The biggest realization I had in 2016 was that my voice matters. Being able to speak my truth matters. The words I put into the world matter. I missed writing and sometimes what I have to say is worth sharing. Thank you for listening.