As you’ve likely noticed there is a small break between when starting this little NamasDre journey and the more recent posts. When trying to launch a project like this a break isn’t ideal. But sometimes, it’s necessary. So how did we end up at a breaking point? Well...that’s a bit of a longer story.
I’ve always overextended myself. Committing to projects, groups, and events because I hate saying no, or for it to seem like I’m unable to handle any and everything thrown at me. Slowly the yeses start to be more weight than I can handle. More time to spend on everything and everyone other than myself. I would spend more time and energy doing for others that I would forget to not just do the things that matter to me but, often, to just take care of myself. I would worry myself so much about letting anyone down that I let everyone down by not being able to present my best possible self. There’s science behind it, the more we overextend ourselves the worse we perform. Resilience isn’t defined by not stopping, it is defined by the ability to take meaningful pauses and approaching things. with a renewed energy.
Late last summer I was running from activity to activity, checking things off to-do lists, and I was tired. Exhausted, actually. So I took at look at all of the things on my plate, and I wasn’t on there. I was doing everything except making myself a priority. I was grumpy, overwhelmed, unhealthy both physically and emotionally. Now, I’ve shifted my focus; taking on what I felt like was reasonable, taking breaks when I feel like I need them. It’s hard to feel like I’m letting people down, not doing everything I ‘should’ be doing or ‘could’ be doing but in taking time to focus on myself and my health I’m a better contributor in every aspect of my life.
I consistently do the same in my practice, look at a break as weakness. We’re often reminded the child’s pose is available to us at any time but you rarely see anyone take that option. I’ve pushed through a class looking and feeling like I wasn’t going to make it because I thought taking a break is weak, it’s quitting. But being able to know when you need a physical or mental break is strength in itself. I spent the last few months focusing on where I’m at in my life, where I want to go next, how my practice is a part of that and am ready to move forward.
Today, as I begin my 200 hour teacher certification I know that I’ll say no to a lot of things until September. I’ll miss dinners, brunches, happy hours, maybe a little sleep but in those no’s is a bigger yes. A yes to the things that matter to me, a yes to making myself a priority, yes to something that will make me better in all of the future yeses for others. I’ve learned that when I commit my time and energy to things that matter to me, I’m rewarded with energy back; a realization I wouldn’t have had if I didn’t stop for a minute and take a break.